Retro Roundup’s list of the 10 most bizarre songs

By Joel Goldenberg, September 28th, 2012

Since top-10 (or pick a number) lists are very popular, thanks to Irving Wallace’s 1970s Book of Lists, David Letterman and, it seems, every 50th issue of Rolling Stone magazine, Retro Roundup will present its own lists for the next few issues. We start with some of the most bizarre recordings in retro history.
1. ah-ah ,yawa em ekat ot gnimoc er'yehT — Napoleon XIV: No, Retro Roundup’s writer has not become cross-eyed. This was the actual title of the B-side of the already weird (and never acceptable on radio today) They’re Coming to Take Me Away Ha-Ha by Napoleon IV (Jerry Samuels), which was a big novelty hit in 1966. The A-side featured the song’s main character describing his slow descent into insanity after losing his dog. As the song goes on, Napoleon’s voice becomes faster, higher in pitch and sounding like he’s inhaling helium. An ambulance siren blares in the background. That’s eerie enough,
Even stranger is the B-side, which is the whole song backwards. Not only is it otherworldly, it’s almost verbally violent. It could almost be considered early psychedelia, but not of the Summer of Love variety.
Funnily enough, a few months earlier, the Beatles released Rain, the B-side of Paperback Writer, which includes a backwards sequence by John Lennon at the tail end of the song.
2. Transfusion - Nervous Norvus: This 1956 track is probably my favourite novelty song. A hepped-up sounding driver keeps smashing his car while speeding, finds several different variations for the words “blood transfusion” (”pass the claret, Barrett” is my favourite) and vows never to speed again before temptation beckons and the inevitable happens. Hardcore music fans will recognize the car crash sound effects as having been used on many songs, most notably Dead Man’s Curve by Jan and Dean.
3. Side 4 of Legendary Masters by Jan and Dean — Speaking of the 1960s duo, side 4 of their double LP compilation Legendary Masters was part of an apparently rejected live album that featured bizarre dialogue, speeded up renditions and frequent musical interruptions via a draggy country instrumental. The part-live album that did come out in 1966 (Filet of Soul) was dull in comparison.
4. I Want My Baby Back-Jimmy Cross: A bizarre take on the teen death genre. Singer loses his “baby” in a car wreck (that the singer seemingly enjoys) on the way home from a Beatles concert. Singer misses “baby” so much he digs up her grave and joins her in her coffin.
I’m surprised this saw release in 1964.
5. Revolution 9 —The Beatles: Avant-garde chaos from The White Album. Also strange, but not as good, was the outtake What’s the New Mary Jane, also recorded in ‘68. Also strange, but great, is the cartoony You Know My Name (Look Up the Number), released in 1970, and the 1965, 1966, 1967, 1968 and 1969 Beatles Christmas messages.
6. Dogs Part 2 — The Who: Part 1 was a mildly bizarre, but very catchy, description of a racing dog, released in 1968. Part 2, from 1969, is Keith Moon’s wild drumming and barking, and some great guitar from Pete Townshend. And Waspman, from 1971, is Keith once again, buzzing and stinging by stating, simply, “sting!”
7. All I Want To Do- Beach Boys: This 1969 song is not outwardly strange — in fact, it’s a great rocker written by Dennis Wilson and sung by Mike Love in one of his best vocals. What’s bizarre, especially for a clean-cut seeming group, is the act that occurs at the tail end of the song. And, from what I’ve heard, it’s not simulated. Also strangely, the Beach Boys released a similarly titled but completely different song, All I Wanna Do, a year later, inevitably creating confusion.
8. Delicious!-Jim Backus and Friend: This one has Backus (of Mr. Magoo and Thurston Howell of Gilligan’s Island fame) and what sounds like a sexy female friend considering some unknown food and sounding more soused as the song goes on. I only found out later the sexy sounding woman was none other than the anti-sexy Phyllis Diller, who recently passed away.
9. I  Need Help- Bobby Byrd. This 1970 song by the longtime James Brown band member was a rhythm track recycle of Brown’s then-unreleased You’ve Got To Have A Mother For Me. For the most part, it’s a great funk track. But the backing singers sound like they’re singing backwards.
10. Yoga Is As Yoga Does- Elvis Presley: I’ve mentioned this 1966 favourite a few times in the history of Retro Roundup, mainly for the lyrics:
“Come on come on, untwist my legs
Pull my arms a lot
How did I get so tied up
In this yoga knot
You tell me just how I can take this yoga serious
When all it ever gives to me is a pain in my posterius.”
Ah, poetry.